Counseling for Relational Trauma

When we experience a traumatic event, it rips away our sense of power and control over our lives. But if the trauma was something you endured over time or happened when you were younger, you may not even recognize all the ways that it has impacted you. You might find yourself snapping at loved ones or breaking down even over the smallest thing. Maybe you constantly feel like something bad is going to happen and are always physically or mentally bracing yourself for something to go wrong. You likely either feel constantly overwhelmed or completely numb, or some combination of the two. You might find that you are zoning out a lot or getting frozen doom-scrolling on your phone. Maybe you're having to come to terms with whether things might have been worse than you thought. It could be that you're still encountering gaslighting from those around you and it's making you doubt your own memories and experiences. You may have survived by shrinking yourself to take up as little space as possible. You might catch yourself overapologizing and overgiving until you have nothing left and end up feeling resentful or falling apart.

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 You are not broken, bad, or worthless. You deserve to be supported and to take up space without feeling like a burden. Trauma doesn't always show up as a distinct memory, it often comes out in our daily reactions to the world and people around us, which makes it confusing to sort through on your own. It often means that we unintentionally re-enact cycles from the past and get stuck when they don't work anymore or feel afraid that we're turning into the person who hurt us. This is why in our work together we will focus on how your trauma affects you today and then try to make connections to the past. We will come up with mind and body focused strategies that help you manage distress enough to feel calm and safe. We will go back and be there for the parts of you that were harmed or did not get their needs met in the past. You will learn how to nurture and protect yourself, because no one might have shown you how to do that before. I will help you gain back a sense of control and power in your life while you reconnect with who you are and want to be. In our work, you will regain trust for your own body and mind as you heal your inner child and "reparent" yourself. We will also get to sort through all of the different dynamics that show up for you with other people so you can figure out how to be in healthy relationships with others again, or maybe for the first time.